Money tells your story. Every dollar you spend, save, or invest says a lot about your life experiences, fears, values, and aspirations.

So, in this episode, we unwrap the layers of how we think about money. For this one, we’re drawing some insights from Tori Dunlap's book ‘ Financial Feminist ’ (which we personally love) and personal finance guru Ramit Sethi .

We take you through the concepts of 'money scripts’ and ‘financial flashpoint experiences’ to explain why some of us splurge while others struggle with extreme frugality. Most importantly, we guide you through designing your version of a Rich Life that starts today. Because that’s the goal, right? We're all saving and investing so we can live our best and happiest days sooner rather than later.

What are the four types of ‘invisible’ money scripts (and what’s yours)?

In discussions about personal finance and investing, it's common to find ourselves deep in research about what's the right broker for you or the most cost-effective ETF . However, the psychology of money is just as crucial, if not more so, because of its noticeable impact on our financial success (and emotional health).

Money scripts, often rooted in our earliest memories, shape how we view and interact with money today. Dr. Brad Klontz, a financial psychologist, identifies four types: Money Avoidance, Money Worship, Money Status, and Money Vigilance. These invisible narratives can either propel us toward financial freedom or anchor us in financial anxieties.

The Paradox of Money Avoidance

Did you know some of us see money as a necessary evil? That's Money Avoidance. While money avoiders may associate wealth with negative traits like greed, they ironically yearn for it. Yet, they might subconsciously sabotage their wealth due to a fear of losing their community or identity. It's a financial tug-of-war that can end exactly where it started.

The Illusion of Money Worship

The Money Worship script convinces you that happiness is just a pay cheque away. But those who chase this illusion at all costs often find themselves in a financial desert. They tend to have less income, lower net worth, and a mountain of credit card debt.

The Façade of Money Status

Then, there’s the money status script, where you believe your self-worth and place in society is measured by net worth. It’s about Keeping up with the Joneses, so to speak. “If it’s not new, it’s not for me,” becomes the mantra. Money is a superficial badge of honor that often conceals a deeper vulnerability or insecurities for those who grew up with unmet needs.

The Prudence of Money Vigilance

Finally, we have the money vigilantes, the prudent savers who view financial security as a top priority. They are the antithesis of waiting for a windfall; they believe in earning every penny and stashing it away for the future. It's not as glamorous as the others, but it's the script of those who write their own success stories with patience and hard work.

Recognising our own money scripts is like holding a mirror to our financial souls. It can be uncomfortable, but it's the first step towards reinventing yourself for financial freedom. So, which script have you been following? More importantly, which script do you want to write for your future?

What’s your financial flashpoint experience?

Now that you know what your invisible money script might be, did you ever wonder where it came from?

Think of your earliest memory around money. Was it the sound of coins clinking, or perhaps a loved one struggling with bills? These memories aren't just passing thoughts. They're the moments that forged our very first impressions of money – your ‘financial flashpoints’.

These flashpoints are powerful; they script our financial stories and choreograph our money decisions. And, often, without realising, we're dancing to a tune composed long ago.

We learn about what to do and how to think about money from childhood

Tash shares a fascinating insight: our core financial behaviours are picked up between the ages of two to 12. Our early memories with money form the deep-seated beliefs that steer our money decisions as adults.

However, we’re not to blame for these ingrained thoughts about money. It’s no secret that we don’t all start the race from the same mark. Economic background, family beliefs, and societal pressures influence how we view money.

And the financial system isn't exactly handing out literacy awards. It's complex and can often feel like it's designed to keep us in the dark. Recognising this isn't about playing a blame game; it's about understanding and changing the sails from here.

Transform your money psychology through reflection

So, how do we confront and recover from these financial flashpoints? Reflective questions are a good start.

Consider these prompts:

• What trio of money lessons did your parents impart?
• What’s your most painful financial memory? The happiest memory that involved money?

By dissecting these financial flashpoints, we don't just reminisce. The real transformation happens when you use this self-awareness to free yourself from the shackles of the financial past. Take this as an opportunity to rewrite your story and prevent these flashpoints from happening again with you or your loved ones.

How to live a Rich Life

What does a "Rich Life" look like for you? It’s a term that often brings up images of luxury and excess. However, Ramit Sethi's approach challenges this stereotype and encourages us to define richness on our terms.

We’re talking not just in terms of your bank balance, but a specific picture of what you value and what makes you happy. For some, it's the time and freedom to pick up their kids from school every afternoon. For others, it's the peace of mind knowing their financial security can buy them flexibility and options.

The problem is that, for many of us, we feel our Rich Life is at the end of a long and winding financial road. Our early experiences with money make us feel bad about the way we use money. Every time you trade money for simple joys like a bagel for Sunday brunch, you feel that your Rich Life becomes even more out of reach.

We think that the only way to experience Rich Life someday is by feeling miserable today so we can hopefully celebrate when we’re 70. But what if we've been focusing on the potholes instead of the destination?

Ask the bigger question to get closer to your Rich Life

Financial commentators like Tori Dunlap and Ramit Sethi champion the concept of a Rich Life by urging us to ask the bigger questions about money. For instance, Sethi says building your Rich Life is not about the trivial $6 questions around that daily latte or shirt on sale.

Rather, it's about the broader $30,000 strokes in your financial strategy and choices. How do you earn more? How do you automate your savings so that you don’t spend your entire check? Where and how often do you invest for the long term? These are the questions that decide whether you’d enjoy a Rich Life today and an even Richer Life tomorrow.

Tips for living your Rich Life

To start on this path, you first need to acknowledge and reverse the ‘invisible script’ that holds you back. Second, automate your finances so that there's a fixed percentage of your income going to savings and investments.

Then, create a ‘conscious spending plan’ for the remaining balance. Here’s a straightforward musing from Sethi: spend extravagantly on things you love and cut costs mercilessly on other things.

Do you feel good wearing a $1,000 cashmere sweater even if that means living with roommates to afford the feeling of wearing it? Would you love to travel for six weeks every year even if that means packing lunchables to work? Whatever it is, you deserve to feel good about money.

What does Rich Life look like for the Get Rich Slow Club listeners

This is what our community envisions when they think of a Rich Life. It’s a glimpse into our community’s diverse aspirations and dreams that go beyond just dollars and cents.

• “Having an emergency fund that gives me peace of mind I never had growing up”
• “Not worrying about opening bills”
• “Having options with anything”
• “Being able to drop off and pick up my kids so they aren’t at OOSH/school for 10 hours a day”
• “Having a home that is cosy”
• “Being able to have the morning and evenings to myself (without being at work)”
• “Travelling every year without worrying about costs”
• “Picking up kids from school and having a freshly cooked meal every night with the whole family”
• “Being able to take my daughter to visit my bestie in Europe”
• “Having everyday as a holiday where you can do whatever you want”
• “Going to a job for a purpose, instead of to pay my bills”
• “Being able to buy the fancy peanut butter in a glass jar that says fancy things like ‘hemp’”
• “Not missing out on kids events – sports days, excursions, play dates, birthday parties, Christmas parties”
• “Having a level of financial freedom that allows me the time for my passion projects”

What Rich Life means for Tash and Ana

Now, let's take a closer look at what a Rich Life looks for us:

• Ana dreams of international travel without the need to save specifically for each trip. She envisions a life where grocery shopping doesn't involve meticulous price comparisons and where lifestyle upgrades come guilt-free.
• Tash, on the other hand, seeks the luxury of avoiding red-eye flights and embracing regular holidays. She wants the spontaneity to say 'yes' to unexpected adventures. For her, a rich life includes the freedom to enjoy dining out, including drinks, without the pressure of cost.

Your version of a rich life might be completely different from ours, and that's okay. What's important is to get specific about what aligns with your values and bring the most satisfaction out of spending. The more detailed your vision is, the closer you can get to it because you can then reverse-engineer a financial roadmap.

Take action this week

This week’s episode brought to light an often overlooked aspect in personal finance: our first money memories. That initial encounter with money sets the stage for how we feel about money and how we use it. Recognising this connection is your first step towards treating money as a tool – not a master – that enables us to live a happy and meaningful existence.

Wrapping up, we’re left with some thought-provoking questions from the Financial Feminist book. Reflect on these questions, not just once, but as an ongoing conversation with yourself.

• How does your first money memory dictate your relationship with money now?
• How do you see your relationship with money evolving?
• How are you going to make that change happen?
• What will your life look like if you change your relationship with money?

As you ponder these questions, why not listen to the full episode below and click the share button? And remember, financial growth isn't a solitary journey. If you're feeling inspired, join the conversation on our Instagram page , Facebook group , or the Pearler Exchange . Share your stories, seek wisdom, and be part of a community that grows together.

Happy investing!

Tash & Ana